18 Maskerade by Pratchett Terry

Author:Pratchett, Terry [Terry, Pratchett,]
Format: epub
Published: 2010-04-10T22:08:30.571000+00:00

The shop bell tinkled in a refined tone,, as if it were embarrassed to do something as vulgar as ring. It would have much preferred to give a polite cough. This was Ankh-Morpork's most prestigious dress shop, and one way of telling was the apparent absence of anything so crass as merchandise. The occasional carefully placed piece of expensive material merely hinted at the possibilities available. This was not a shop where things were bought. This was an emporium where you had a cup of coffee and a chat. Possibly, as a result of that muted conversation, four or five yards of exquisite fabric would change ownership in some ethereal way, and yet nothing so crass as trade would have taken place. 'Shop!' yelled Nanny. A lady appeared from behind a curtain and observed the visitors, quite possibly with her nose. 'Have you come to the right entrance?' she said. Madame Dawning had been brought up to be polite to servants and trades people, even when they were as scruffy as these two old crows. 'My friend here wants a new dress,' said the dumpier of the two. 'One of the nobby ones with a train and a padded bum.' 'In black,' said the thin one. 'And we wants all the trimmings,' said the dumpy one. 'Little handbag onna string, pair of glasses onna stick, the whole thing.' 'I think perhaps that might be a leetle more than you're thinking of spending,' said Madame Dawning. 'How much is a leetle?' said the dumpy one. 'I mean that this is rather a select dress shop.' 'That's why we're here. We don't want rubbish. My name's Nanny Ogg and this here is. . . Lady Esmerelda Weatherwax.' Madame Dawning regarded Lady Esmerelda quizzically. There was no doubt that the woman had a certain bearing. And she stared like a duchess. 'From Lancre,' said Nanny Ogg. 'And she could have a conservatory if she liked, but she doesn't want one.' 'Er. . .'Madame Dawning decided to play along for a while. 'What style were you considering?' 'Something nobby,' said Nanny Ogg. 'I perhaps would like a leetle more guidance than that-' 'Perhaps you could show us some things,' said Lady Esmerelda, sitting down. 'It's for the opera.' 'Oh, you patronize the opera?' 'Lady Esmerelda patronizes everything,' said Nanny Ogg stoutly. Madame Dawning had a manner peculiar to her class and upbringing. She'd been raised to see the world in a certain way. When it didn't act in that certain way she wobbled a bit but, like a gyroscope, eventually recovered and went on spinning just as if it had. If civilization were to collapse totally and the survivors were reduced to eating cockroaches, Madame Dawning would still use a napkin and look down on people who ate their cockroaches the wrong way round. 'I will, er, show you, some examples,' she said. 'Excuse me one moment.' She scuttled into the long workrooms behind the shop, where there was considerably less gilt, and leaned against the wall and summoned her chief seamstress.

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